Why do people stay in situations (relationships, jobs, friendships, etc.) that we know will not work? Even when these "situations" are making us unhappy, uneasy, affecting our health mentally and/or physically, and bring out the worst characteristics in us..we stay. Is it complacency, familiarity, fear of stepping into the unknown, fear of being viewed as a quitter if we leave, fear or being alone or missing out or is it a combination of all of the above?
Why is it so hard to throw in the towel when you realize the battle you are fighting to hold on is not worth the effort, energy or your time? Why keep making excuses for someone else's shortcomings that you know can't be ignored? Why stay at that job because it pays well instead of looking for another one that will bring you complete satisfaction? Why keep expecting someone to change when they are continuously showing you who they really are? Why keep settling?
When things are bringing you constant pain, stagnating your growth, conflicting with and going against your values and morals, in my Erykah Badu voice I say, "Let It Go, Let It Go"! Stop trying to recapture and revive something (including someone) that is not worth your effort. Not only is it (they) not worth your effort but it's also causing you so much pain.
Just because something is familiar, doesn't mean it is good for you or where God wants you to be. Situations that are not fulfilling your purpose, making you unhappy and/or giving you a sense of emptiness can be toxic to your psyche. It is OK to throw in the towel and walk away without looking back. Leave those painful situations and memories in the sea of forgetfulness. YOU HAVE TO MOVE ON!
It may be scary and it may even hurt temporarily, but step out on faith and know that you may not be certain of WHERE you will land, but trust and believe that you WILL land. A closed hand can not receive. You must be willing to let it go, open your hands, open your heart,and open your mind receive the blessings that God is trying to give you.
Stop delaying your blessings by nurturing situations (things & people) that should be be neutered!
THROW IN THE TOWEL and; KEEP IT MOVING!
Be Blessed!
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Infidelity.....is it really possible to Forgive & Forget?
Infidelity....
When your significant other has cheated, is it possible to truly forgive AND forget?
Can you forgive without forgetting?
Can the trust be restored or will that doubt always remain?
Does infidelity hurts the person that was cheated on self esteem?
If a person says they are "happy and satisfied at home", why still cheat?
When someone has cheated on you, does the infidelity make it harder to trust the next person(s) you date?
If you have been caught cheating, do you initially tell the truth when confronted? If not, why?
What are some of the main reasons people "stray" outside their committed relationships?
When your significant other has cheated, is it possible to truly forgive AND forget?
Can you forgive without forgetting?
Can the trust be restored or will that doubt always remain?
Does infidelity hurts the person that was cheated on self esteem?
If a person says they are "happy and satisfied at home", why still cheat?
When someone has cheated on you, does the infidelity make it harder to trust the next person(s) you date?
If you have been caught cheating, do you initially tell the truth when confronted? If not, why?
What are some of the main reasons people "stray" outside their committed relationships?
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
How Soon Is Too Soon?
After a very interesting conversation with a twenty something year old cousin, it peaked my interest to find out how women and men felt on is there is a such a time/thing as sleeping with someone "too soon". Here a few questions that we discussed and I would like to get your take on them without expressing my point of view first.
When, or is it ever, too soon to sleep with a person?
Do men view women differently or respect them less if they sleep with them after 1 date, or two or three? Why or why not?
Do women/men feel pressured to be intimate right away in fear of the other person leaving or becoming disinterested?
If the woman wants to hold true to her values and not be intimate until she is comfortably sure she has a commitment from her mate and he is monogamous with her, does that cause him to stray or stay? Why or why not?
If its the man wanting to hold off on consummating the relationship because of his morals & values and wanting to be sure his mate is monogamous and committed to him; do women view him differently or question his masculinity? Why or why not?
When, or is it ever, too soon to sleep with a person?
Do men view women differently or respect them less if they sleep with them after 1 date, or two or three? Why or why not?
Do women/men feel pressured to be intimate right away in fear of the other person leaving or becoming disinterested?
If the woman wants to hold true to her values and not be intimate until she is comfortably sure she has a commitment from her mate and he is monogamous with her, does that cause him to stray or stay? Why or why not?
If its the man wanting to hold off on consummating the relationship because of his morals & values and wanting to be sure his mate is monogamous and committed to him; do women view him differently or question his masculinity? Why or why not?
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
Unconditional Love, Real Love...do limits ever apply
What is unconditional love? Is true love the same as unconditional love? In true love and/or unconditional love...can there be limits?
I am pondering these questions after a conversation I had with two of my BFF's yesterday. Surprisingly this same topic came up today but it was a guy friend on the other side of the country that brought it up.
I think unconditional love means just that..."No Conditions". Do I think its possible to truly love someone with "no conditions"...yes, I do. Now I vary on thinking, believing and/or feeling if true love and unconditional love are one in the same . Sometimes I think yes it can be and then there are other times in which I would have to say, no it is not.
True unconditional love takes time and it requires a lot of work. A lot of people say they want this kind of love and that it is so hard to find. I don't think its so hard to find, it is hard to keep. We have become a society of instant gratification in a lot of ways. We want everything yesterday. Instant this, drive up that, lunch in 15 minutes or its free, etc. A lot of people are not willing to put in the time and the work to keep and work at making that true unconditional love work and grow. With true unconditional love you do not love someone because of...you love them in spite of.
True unconditional love knows or have any bearers or boundaries. True unconditional love is color blind; it forgives & forgets, gives and receives, shares and cares, hope & dreams, supports and never fades. It is falling in love again and again with the same person over and over again. It is when without thought that persons well being is a fore-thought and not an after thought.
Do not mistake true unconditional love with that fairy tale type love. In true unconditional love you will have disagreements, get angry and some days may not even like the other person. However, you will always love, respect and cherish each other and your differences.
Now for the true love WITH conditions.... You can truly love a person however it is almost always followed with a "BUT". For example, you may truly love a person for how they treat you or how they make you feel but you can not see yourself spending the rest of your life with them. Or you may truly love a certain aspect of a person but not love the person as a whole.
With that being said, I leave you with this question...is it right to truly love someone with conditions?
I am pondering these questions after a conversation I had with two of my BFF's yesterday. Surprisingly this same topic came up today but it was a guy friend on the other side of the country that brought it up.
I think unconditional love means just that..."No Conditions". Do I think its possible to truly love someone with "no conditions"...yes, I do. Now I vary on thinking, believing and/or feeling if true love and unconditional love are one in the same . Sometimes I think yes it can be and then there are other times in which I would have to say, no it is not.
True unconditional love takes time and it requires a lot of work. A lot of people say they want this kind of love and that it is so hard to find. I don't think its so hard to find, it is hard to keep. We have become a society of instant gratification in a lot of ways. We want everything yesterday. Instant this, drive up that, lunch in 15 minutes or its free, etc. A lot of people are not willing to put in the time and the work to keep and work at making that true unconditional love work and grow. With true unconditional love you do not love someone because of...you love them in spite of.
True unconditional love knows or have any bearers or boundaries. True unconditional love is color blind; it forgives & forgets, gives and receives, shares and cares, hope & dreams, supports and never fades. It is falling in love again and again with the same person over and over again. It is when without thought that persons well being is a fore-thought and not an after thought.
Do not mistake true unconditional love with that fairy tale type love. In true unconditional love you will have disagreements, get angry and some days may not even like the other person. However, you will always love, respect and cherish each other and your differences.
Now for the true love WITH conditions.... You can truly love a person however it is almost always followed with a "BUT". For example, you may truly love a person for how they treat you or how they make you feel but you can not see yourself spending the rest of your life with them. Or you may truly love a certain aspect of a person but not love the person as a whole.
With that being said, I leave you with this question...is it right to truly love someone with conditions?
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